Ayash ash whoopin...get it?

So I went for my third training session, and my second in-ring training session in St. Albans a week or so back at the Ayash sports complex.

Bill Instructed me to be there at 4:30 so I could help set up the ring and so we could get in the ring and do some work. Turns out Bill got there about 20 mins before the show started. I apparently misunderstood and he meant that Allen Lynch would be training with me. Either way it was awesome.

I got there and helped set up the ring as instructed, and also helped put up the entrance tent thingy as well. Allen got some new mats for the ring and I proudly can say, I am the dude who got to break them in with the first bump of many on the night.

Allen got in the ring with me, and as is apparently customary, most of the wrestlers surround the ring during these training sessions. I suppose this could be intimidating if you weren't an arrogant wrestler in training. So instead of being nervous I get really amped up and excited. After all, that's the goal, to perform in front of people right?

Things went really, really well. Me, Allen, and Gorgeous JC(for a bit) went over what is called the "International". Which is a spot that all wrestlers know that incorporates a few basic moves in a string. The moves are a hip toss, arm drag, drop-kick, shoulder block, and your basic rope running. When strung together in a seamless set it really is pretty cool. We went over that a few times and everyone seemed really impressed. They "ooooooo..."'d whenever I took my bumps then J.C. said that if they didn't hurt I should definately take them that way cause it looks impressive. Max Rock went as far to say, "dude, when you take a hip toss it's sick." So I was grinning like an idiot.

Allen was really cool. He would show me something or ask if I could do something and he didn't waste time going over things that I naturally do well. He said I was a natural for the physical things and we moved a lot faster paced than he did with the other guys that were there training with him.

The whole day just was really awesome for me. Running through a few moves strung together and taking a few calls from Allen on the fly just made me realize that I was getting a lot closer to actually being in a match.

After training I sat in the crowd with Ian and watched the show. It was really one of the best xmcw shows I've seen. All the matches were pretty well done. The highlight was Eric Steele, which is a friend I met in the dorms at Marshall, versus...shit...I just drew a blank. Anyway, the match was great.

After the show I helped tear down the ring, thanked allen and Bill again then headed home.

I got an email from Bill today that read something like this, "What size shoe do you wear? I may be able to get you into a match with DFZ in huntington next month to set up an angle there next month if your up for it."

If I'm up for it? Do bears shit in the woods? Seth is yet again stoked. I'm still confused as to how the size of my shoes has any relevance to whether or not I am going to wrestle however.

So if anyone is aware of who wrestles for XMCW (ian this is for you), I'm going to just go ahead and say this. I went on a 12 hour wrestling road trip with Death Falcon Zero, Jock Sampson, Gorgeous JC, and Young Shane Storm (I sat between these two for the majority of the trip).

So much went down last saturday that I am afraid that I will leave out the good parts but I will try and do it justice.

Saturday I drove to St. Albans to meet with DFZ, with hopes of being there early enough to get some in ring training prior to the show. I got there and in the parking lot was Allen Lynch. Allen looked confused as hell to see me because we haven't been there to film in a very long time. In fact I believe he even asked me what I was doing there...but not like THAT, just genuinly curious.

Bill showed up shortly after 1 and alas, the show was to start at 1:30 and no ring time was to be had. The show had a good showing of fans because it was free. I really didn't figure out why but there were baloons, some sort of child's learning station, and another table with pamphlets of some sort.

Anyway, i stayed in the locker room for the majority of this show. I felt like it was necessary so I could get a feel for what I was in for. What I was in for was an indescribable smell the like of which I haven't never encountered before. Wow. I guess that is what you get when you cram 12 Professional Wrestlers with all there stinky gear into a 8 by 12 foot room. There was however a community can of Old Spice body spray that was passed around and used very liberally by most of the wrestlers.

I eventually did go out and watch some matches but the meat of the day didn't take place in St. Albans so I'll move ahead in the story.

Shane storm road shotgun with me after the show as we headed towards DFZ's house. I was stoked. Our akward forced conversation became even more stressed when we got stuck at a railroad crossing. But it turns out Shane is actually a cool easy going dude to chat with.

We met at Bill's house, no I didn't get to go in, and all 5 of us piled into the car and headed off to...shit...I can't remember the name of the town...but it was 2 hours away.

Honestly, after about an hour of being on the road I was feeling a bit skeptical of the whole road tripping with wrestlers thing. I was stuck in the middle, trying not to touch people, I had a carsick headache thing, JC smoked...a lot, and I was honestly feeling kinda bad that I wasn't having a super rad time. After we stopped at McDonald's to eat and I got some food in me things turned around however.

The second leg of the trip was much better. Headache was gone and I was much more comfortable chatting and joking with the Team Gay and the Death Stars. Really, it was a lot of fun and I got to hear a lot of interesting stories that would take far to much text to do them justice at the moment.

We got to ???????city and I was feeling more optimistic by the moment. The ring was set up in an old airplane hanger looking place and a couple of trainees for this particular federation were already in the ring with...*gasp* Jason "the gift" Kincaid! Seth was more stoked.

I eventually got into the ring and Bill had me run ropes for about 20 seconds and he shrugged and said "well he's got that...". Then Shane showed me how to run into the turnbuckles from an Irish Whip. Twenty seconds later Bill was equally satisfied.

About 5 mins into the ring stuff, the Booker (the guy who sets up and determines the matches) comes up to the ring and says, "Hey, is that Johnny Boy?". Bill smiled and confirmed then the Booker who's name is Brian I think but I could be wrong says "Man, if you can move around the ring like you moved around Huntington you'll be great!". I smiled and nodded politely. Side note:Everyone who's seen Johnny Boy in the wrestling world around here just calls me Johnny. Then Brian says ,"Hey, jump the top rope then springboard up to the turnbuckle then do something crazy and land on your feet...". I looked confused at Bill who just kind of gestured that it was o.k. Meanwhile the following people were all in the ring: Shane Storm, Jock Sampson, DFZ, Brian, 2 trainees, and Jason Kincaid. I felt a bit on the spot and nervous but decided fuck it. I ran to the ropes, hopped over, then up onto the turnbuckle, moonsaulted (back flip) off and landed on my feet. Brian laughed and said, "Damn, ain't nobody in the locker room can do that!". Then Jason Kincaid extended his hand and said,"So, what's your name again?". Seth was even more stoked.

Afterwards Bill told me that Brian was really excited about me and was already discussing gimmicks he wanted to use for me and how I could draw people to the shows. Sweet.

After my ego had been properly stroked I was instructed on a couple more things like taking a shoulder tackle bump(when you fall to the ground/mat). I had get out of the ring after about 20 mins or so but it was a blast. I love being in the ring and getting thrown around.

I stayed out in the seats for most of the show, which was pretty good. A few good matches highlighted by a "D-F-Z!" chant from most of the crowd. Awesome.

After the show Brian apparently got real mad cause some punk kid from colombus was pissed about not getting payed, so Brian punched him in the head. I later learned that Brian is fact the dude from the now famous Youtube video of the professional wrestler in the cage match that gets pissed off and punches that old lady in the stands. He went to prison for it apparently. Check it out for real. But him punching the kid happened after we left. Jock called and told us(he stayed to ride to parkersburg with someone else so I got fronsties with DFZ!).

The ride back was even more fun. Lots of laughs and making fun of pretty much every wrestler not in the car. Apparently that is what you do, belittle the competition. I also heard a lot of stories about sexual conquets and the like that were hilarious in their vulgarity. One of which involved a 15 year old girl that may or may not be true.

I definately missed some stuff but my battery is dying on my laptop.

Stay tuned for more!

Superkick!

I'm gonna wrassle! Someday...

As some of my closer friends may be aware, I'm in training to be a professional wrestler. This event is the quite possibly the reason for my being.

Bill Bitner, better known as Death Falcon Zero in wrestling circles, has taken me under his wing (hehe, he's a falcon..ya see?) and is going to impart his knowledge of the ongoings within the squared circle. This, as you surely know, is awesome.




After Bill agreed to train me, I immediately lost the ability to sleep. I lay down at night but instead of sleeping I close my eyes and see images of moonsaults, superkicks, and hammerlocks. I know...sweet isn't it? Anyway, during one of these sleepless nights I decided to keep a blog about the training/wrestling process. I know that a lot of people are into wrestling so I thought it would be cool for them to hear a bit from the inside. I also know that for every one person into wrestling, there is an entire family who folds their arms, shakes their heads, and questions the sexual preference of said person. I suppose that is the major reason for wanting to keep a blog about it. Hopefully someone skeptical may happen across this and at least gain a little respect for what these dudes put themselves through simply to entertain a couple dozen people.

I hope to keep up with this on a weekly-ish basis. Or at least after each training/wrestling event. If I fail to feel free to hate mail me. Or not notice as 6billion other people will.

Speaking of which. Bill came by the apartment yesterday to give me my first series of lessons. I was concerned that I would end up pile driven threw the coffee table but as it turns out Bill just wanted to go through some of the basics. I.E. no german suplexes or ddts.

We went through your basic lock-up, arm wrench, headlock, scissor hold, hammerlock, and the very basics of how the ring psychology works. Basically it goes like this. The bad guy, or "heel" is the dude in charge. He essentially calls the match. The good guy, or "face", follows his lead as the face is usually dominated for much of the match do to some sort of cheating on the part of the heel. There is much more involved than that, but I'm sure I'll learn things as I go.

He also went of some of the etiquette of professional wrestling. Things that seem obvious at first, until you go to an independent wrestling event and get up close and personal with some of the participants.

1.Take a shower before a match.
2.Brush your teeth before a match. Or at least pop in a mint or chew some gum.
3.Try and keep your chest, and arm pits shaved

As I said, these seem obviously but as Bill can attest to, they aren't always followed.

Now, as any fan of wrestling can tell you, finishers are a big deal. To non wrestling fans, a finisher is the trademark move of an individual that is used to "finish" off their opponent for the win. Much of my sleepless nights were spent on trying to figure out what move I could use as my finisher. As long as I have been a wrestling fan, Shawn Michaels has always been my favorite wrestler. His finisher is aptly named "sweet chin music". "Sweet chin music" is basically a standing side kick the the jaw/face of the opponent. I always thought this was a super rad finisher as it could be done anywhere, to anyone, at anytime and really sells (meaning the audience really can believe, or buy into it) to the audience. I was reluctant to use this as my finisher because, well, it's Shawn's. Other dude's do it but I would fell odd taking my idols move I guess. While talking to Bill he asked me what wrestlers I would want to mold my style from and I mentioned Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho. Bill quickly said "Well, can you do a superkick(another name for the "sweet chin music")?" I almost said "Psh, I do like 4 or 5 a day around the house when I'm bored, of course I can!" but instead I said "Yes." Bill then said, "Well, your an athletic guy, so I think that should be your finisher. I think people would believe it." That settles that. If it's good enough for DFZ, then it's good enough for me.

Tomorrow I'm going with Bill to the Ayash sports complex for an outdoor show, barring the weather, and then to somewhere that I forgot for some in ring training. Seth is stoked.

Check back for more!

SUPERKICK!